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You know those people? Those people who, like, came out of the womb wearing perfectly fit stone washed jeans, ruggedly hot converse and a confident swagger (or crawl I guess). Ew, cool people. Recently, I have been faced with the fact that I have never been one of those people.
I never started trends, I always coveted the cool girl group at lunch, I giggle like a hyena when I talk to a hot guy and I never rushed for the hot sororities in college. The sad truth is, even though I never was cool, I always wanted to be.
I wish I could say that I always embraced the fact that I like reading tech blogs for fun, write teen fiction on my free time and hate wearing heels (don’t cool girls always wear heels…like even to class and to the supermarket?). But, no, I didn’t always love the fact that I am weird and recently I have been faced with so many kids who are desperate to be ‘cool.’
I proposed this question to my group of teen trendsetters. I found some of them shocking, some of them honest, some of them encouraging and some of them depressing. Here are their answers:
What makes someone “cool”?
1) Cool people are always in a group.
2) Cool people are always laughing (at you, with you, with their group…)
3) Cool girls wear heels.
4) Cool boys wear hair in their eyes.
5) Cool people walk with confidence.
6) Cool People are mean.
7) Cool people love themselves no matter what.
8) Cool girls have hot underwear.
9) Cool people are the people everyone secretly hates, but are nice to on the surface.
10) If you think you are cool, you are not.
When I put this question into my Teen Trendsetter program and one of the teens asked me if I ever thought I was cool, I told her what I said above, and this:
“I have this problem. Whenever I go to networking events, alumni events or parties I get really nervous. I am not so scared of meeting people, but I really fear that group of cool girls in the corner. Whenever I am with a group of ‘cool girls’ I feel out of place, left out and dumb. I wish I could say that it goes away, but it doesn’t. yet, I am working on it, because I realize that there might have been some mean girls in my past, but I define my relationships now.”
This started a great conversation with some of the girls, but one of the other adult moderators (another fabulous mom blogger), sent me a separate email that I am partially pasting here. She is a mom blogger who is one of the social networks I have for parent influencers online.
“Vanessa,
It was so interesting for me to read you response to the cool girl question. I wanted to write this to you to give you a different perspective. The first time I started reading your blog I really wanted to approach you to get to know you. But, you were my cool girl. When we emailed, I got really nervous, the few times we talked I felt like a rambler.
When you invited me to join your blogger social network I felt like I was invited to the coolest party on the planet. I practiced my intro and edited my profile a billion times and when you posted on my wall, I felt so popular.
I told some of my other mom blogger friends that you invited me to the social network and they were really jealous I got into your clique. I tell you this because I am sure you had no idea, you were never mean or exclusive, but everyone has their own cool girl.”
This email shocked me! I couldn’t believe that someone thought I had a blogger cool clique. It made me realize that every “cool person” has their own “cool person” who makes them nervous, or wish they could be friends with. This is what I tell to teens, even the seemingly ‘cool people’ have their own insecurities and wishes.
I also say this to all of my readers, never be nervous to contact me and everyone is welcome into my “online clique!”
Dream big, work hard and you will get there,
Vanessa
This post is dedicated to my Alicia Zepeda who was the first person (non-blood related) to tell me why I was cool all by myself. Thanks for listening Alicia.
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Question: My daughter is overweight and most of her friends are not. I do not want to make her too self-conscious about her weight and tell her what not to eat but I am at a loss as to what to do.
If you want your kids to become interested in exercise, it is important for them to see you participating in exercise. Kids remember and are very conscious of what they see at home.
You can’t just tell kids that being active is fun, you have to actually show them. A few weeks ago we participated in the Santa Monica 5000 event to raise funds for the St. Johns Hospital. We facilitated a kids run and obstacle course. It was so rewarding seeing the parents with their kids setting early examples of spending a Sunday morning participating in this fun event.
As a parent it is SO important that you engage in regular physical activity. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to carve out 2 hours a day to exercise. On the contrary, you can get a great workout in a short amount of time by incorporating exercise into your everyday routine: Walk instead of drive; If you do drive, park the car far away from the entrance. Take walks after dinner. Turn off the TV and plan family activities that focus on physical activity. Demonstrate various activities to your kids so they have a lot to choose from.
Cook healthy meals at home and if you dine out, educate your kids how to make good choices in restaurants. If you give your teens the knowledge, tools, support and encouragement they will make healthy choices in college and throughout their life. You can also make plans with your teens’ friends parents to all do some sort of activity that involves being active. This is a great opportunity for bonding and to show support.
Today’s teens have active schedules and seemingly endless obligations, so it’s important to schedule physical activity.
Watch for changing interests. Just because your son or daughter played a certain sport or activity in middle school doesn’t mean he/she will always want to keep playing it. Continue to expose your teen to new activities and let him/her find what interests them. This, I believe, is one of the keys to long-term fitness and health.
Arianna Neikrug
Sophomore, Hamilton High School
When did you start exercising/playing sports?
I started exercising/playing sports at the age of 3. I started with soccer, tennis, and basketball, and of course, the all-time favorite of a 3-year-old girl, ballet. From then on, sports and dance weren’t things my mom made me do; they were the things I was truly passionate about. My intensity for sports grew, as did my love for dance, so I don’t like to think of them as exercise but rather hobbies/activities.
How do you stay fit?
I stay fit by watching what I eat and by staying active, whether it’s just a walk in the park or a 2 our spinning class.
What inspires YOU?
The people around me inspire me the most. When I’m driving and I see someone jogging right alongside me, I immediately think “gosh, I’m lazy.” And begin to feel guilty. If these people can do it, then I can too. Another inspiration is my active family. Both my mom and dad exercise regularly, and my older brother plays almost every sport I can name. Being around an active and moving environment influences my behavior as well.
How has fitness helped you in other parts of your life?
Fitness has got to be one of the most helpful and important things in this world. It’s the fuel for my engine. I also perform and as a performer, I find it very important to stay healthy and in shape. I want to look my best on stage when I’m singing and acting. Fitness has also helped me with stress. As a 15-year-old high school girl, my stress level gradually increases by the day. Sometimes the only thing that can really cool me down is movement. When I exercise, I feel great, both physically and emotionally. Fitness frees the mind like nothing else.
How does your family’s health and fitness affect yours?
My family’s fitness certainly affects my own. Quite honestly, if my parents weren’t so involved in exercise, I probably wouldn’t be either. I really owe it all to my grandpa who should be crowned the king of inspiration. Although now approaching 80 and not as upbeat, my grandpa used to exercise his heart out every day. He played several sports (tennis, golf, track to name a few), went for daily jogs, rode his bike, and most importantly, he passed this initiative onto my mother and her two brothers. I currently live in a very healthy and aware home. My parents and I are very particular about what we eat, so most everything in our kitchen is so called “healthy” or “organic”
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seuss
________________________
Karen Jashinsky
check out the O2 MAX Blog <http://o2maxfitness.com/maxblog.htm>
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Carys is one of our teen writers who is 13, from Trinidad, loves to write and act.
What was life like for you in Trinidad?
Coming from Trinidad when I was eight years old was very stressful. I left a happy life with my father, two sisters, a brother, and a mother, also many friends to come live with my mother in America.
What was it like when you first came here?
Then things got worse, when I first came up here I started school and after a year I was hit by a car, no bones were broken, but I had to get stitches over my eye. But, I got better.
Was it hard to leave your family?
As soon as I got off the plane and went to my aunts house, because that’s where we were staying, I began to cry. I finally realized that I probably was never going to see my family again. But, I knew I had to get over it. Soon. Even though, what my mother and I went through was difficult, I knew I came here for a reason.
What was it like starting school here?
Registering myself in a school in a place I did not know was not that difficult. My mother had to find a school near my Aunt, Susan’s resturant. We found a Public Elementary School in Brooklyn, New York. It was near my my aunt’s resturant so when I left school, that is where I would have to go. Making friends was more difficult than I thought. I was accustomed with my habits in Trinidad and when acted the habits out, people thought I was strange. I eventually, kept some habits, and got rid of some, but I did make some really good friends.
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Tags: Teen Articles
Carys is one of our teen interns who is 13 and from Trinidad, loves to write and act.
1. Eating Disorders are not equivalent to ”Diets.” Eating Disorders can be far worse.
2. Most Eating Disorders are deadly. The two common Eating Disorders are Bulimia and Anorexia. Anorexia is a sustained weight loss that brainwashed young females to believe that being extremely thin is “beautiful.”
3. Approximately 75% or more teens, ages 11 - 14 also get brainwashed by the comfort of being anorexic.
4. The normal amount of pounds your adolescent daughter should weigh is at least 90 pounds or more. Under that amount is abnormally low body weight.
Thoughts in the comments?
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You know those people? Those people who, like, came out of the womb wearing perfectly fit stone washed jeans, ruggedly hot converse and a confident swagger (or crawl I guess). Ew, cool people. Recently, I have been faced with the fact that I have never been one of those people.
